Our story of love, loss, and change.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Baby Moore 02/12/14

Getting that faint pink postivie line was not really expected. Not so soon anyway. We decided to try on our own for a few months since I was having somewhat regular cycles. We expected a few months to pass by with no results and us to have to go back to clomid. But here we are, 13 weeks pregnant with a single baby concieved all on our own.

I took the pregnanct test expecting it to be negative, I was having no symptoms but thought I should check just in case. Then the most faint of lines appeared. I literally ran to the bed and jumped on Cody. He of course wanted to not get our hopes up until we were absolutely sure. So a few days later, I took another test....and another and they all kept coming back brighter and brighter. We were shocked beyond belief!

Then reality started to sink in. What if something went wrong with this baby? Could we live through losing another child. Miscarriages are really common this early on..what if that happened to us? Even now at 13 weeks my fears have not eased. I look at this ultrasound and I try to feel nothing but joy, but how can I when I know all of the many things that can go wrong with such a young and tiny baby.

Also, something I did not expect was how difficult it would be emotionally to be pregnant again. I feel like I cry more over Maddox now then I did in the few previous months. I miss him so much and my heart aches to have my baby boy back.

I know that we are ready for this new baby, we are already parents and it is time to put those instincts in to play. I am so excited to be having such an easy pregnancy and now I am just hopeful that I can continue down this path and give birth to a healthy baby who we will get to raise. I am due February 12, 2014, only two weeks different than my due date with Maddox.

For now we will enjoy the little things and hope for the best. All the while still missing our other Angels. <3