Everything Has Changed

Over the past few weeks I have written and deleted so many posts. I feel like I have little to say. This actually makes me a little sad. It has been almost nine months since we lost Maddox and I can tell that I am doing better. I can think of him and the other babies, with thoughts of joy rather than pure sadness. I can remember feeling him flutter inside me and be thankful for the experience, rather than bitter for the loss. I can look at his beautiful hand prints and remember how perfect they were without completely losing it. I feel like I am beginning a new chapter of my life. Life after loss is a strange world. Nothing is the same and little has changed yet EVERYTHING has changed.

Cody and I have been talking a little about what we want to do to celebrate his one year birthday. It is still his birthday, even if he isn't here to celebrate with us. If you notice I say celebrate. I want October 5th to be a day of celebration to his life. No matter how short his life was, I want to remember him and not wallow in my own sorrow.

I would love to hear other people's ideas or what they did on their baby's birthday/angel day to celebrate them.

His Name

To all the mother's that wrote Maddox's name, thank you from the bottom of my heart. The fact that so many people took the time to write our sons name is very touching. Here are all of the beautiful pictures we received. <3