Today..

Some days the loss of our son doesn't feel real.

Even after 9 months, I still can't believe this really happened to us.

There are days when my grief feels really far away.

Then days like today it feels extremely close.

My heart feels as if it is breaking all over again.

Last night Cody and I laid in bed together and wondered about our children.

What they are like now.

Do they understand the terrible choice we had to make.

Do they miss us as much as I miss them.

Today my grief is ugly.

Today the loss of our children weighs heavily on my heart.

Today I miss them. I worry about them. I love them.