Two Months

It has been two months today since we lost our sweet baby

I feel like a part of me has died

Today especially

I never knew that one person could hurt this much

I can't seem to breathe

Our baby is dead and I don't know how to go on living 

This has been the longest yet fastest two months of my life

In some ways I feel like I was pregnant yesterday 

Yet these past two months have flown by in a blur

It is a very odd experience 

I barely remember the last two months

But I remember the day he was born like it was ten minutes ago 

I saw him on the ultrasound an hour before he was born

He was alive and moving...then he was gone

This fact KILLS me 

Was he scared? Did he suffer? 

Nobody really knows if he did or not and I want to die when I think about it

I just can't wait for this day to be over

Only 6 more hours til I can be home with Cody

I can make it...