I would love to be able to post a happy, positive, and uplifting thoughts for the new year. Unfortunately I am unable to do that. 2012 was the worst year or my life! I was sick as a dog from May to October. Five months of not being able to eat, only wanting to sleep, and being terrified. Terrified of having four babies, terrified of having no babies. Then we all know how that ended, horribly.
2013 is not starting out a whole lot better. Reading all the Facebook status updates about how great 2012 was and how everyone is looking forward to 2013 just hurts. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that everyone else is good and happy but 2013 was supposed to be our year. 2013 was supposed to be the year we have our first child. The year our son was born, had his first Christmas etc...instead 2013 is the year we mourn our son, the year we try to put our lives back together and the year we try to move forward.
I hope that this year is better for us and I hope that we can move forward. I also hope that some of our pain and heartache will subside. I know it will never go away but I hope that one day it won't hurt so bad. 2013 will not be the year we imagined, but I hope it will turn out okay.
Happy New Year Friends. Love you all!
Hi Tasha, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss of all 4 of your babies, especially sweet Maddox. My son was also stillborn (at 29 weeks) last July. I love the quote that you've posted above... sometimes I really have to remind myself to keep hoping. HUGS to you mama and wishing you a lot of healing and peace in 2013.
ReplyDeleteTasha,
ReplyDeleteI know for me, as times goes on, the pain lessens... but I have accepted it will never truly go away. And that is ok.
Something that helped me SO much was actually deleting my facebook. I chose to do that about a month after Greyson died....to prevent from having to read stuff like that. It's just to hard when we are in the boat we are in. Let's face it, half of it is probably exaggerated anyway?? I use Instagram, which is super chill, no drama, just pics...that has been fun to replace facebook.
Also, I have always been curious, did you naturally conceive quads??
HOPE 2013 brings much healing and fun and joy!
Hey Myssi,
DeleteI agree that deleting Facebook may be a good thing.I don't know though. I guess I am a litle too attached. I also use Instagram, I love it!
I was on Clomid to make me ovulate so I ovulate four or more eggs and they all stuck! Everything I read says it was less than a 1% chance of that happening!
Thank you, I hope 2013 is good for you as well!