Lately I have been thinking of what I am grieving for the most and while I am grieving for many things, the most difficult thing is the life that we lost.
From the moment we found out I was pregnant, we began picturing what our lives were going to be like, and also what he was going to be like.
It never occurred to me that not only would we never know him, we were never going to get the life that we had envisioned with him.
I grieve for the moments we will never get to experience. We will never get a birthday or a Christmas with him. We don't get to watch him grow and learn. All those precious moments were taken away from us.
I can't even explain the emptiness I sometimes feel in our home. I feel as if our lives are somehow incomplete. There is something missing. He is missing.
I grieve for the life we should have had. His life. Our life together.
Now is the part where we find our new lives. The lives that are still filled with love and happiness, but also filled with grief and sorrow.
A different life than I imagined, but still a beautiful and blessed life.
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